globlog

Saturday, November 21, 2009

Seattle on Steroids...

Scene: Fade in…
Imagine gentle rain pattering away on your rooftop while you lay nestled in bed under the thick covers, perhaps there is a fire roaring and the wind softly blows against your window panes. When you wake, the morning air is fresh with dewy dampness and everything is emerald green. Now imagine if nothing about the situation was gentle at all but involved a violent, horrible, vicious pounding rain and thrashing wind that seemingly never ever ever ends.

They say there has not been flooding like this in Dumfries in 30 years, I feel so lucky to be here to experience this historic moment.

this.sucks.

BBC News- “Heavy rains and strong winds lead to the river Nith overflowing onto the Whitesands in Dumfries.”

Also, why does every single doorknob in every single home or office or public house have to be shaped like this?

Every shirt and sweater I own happens to be designed essentially for getting hung up on this type of door knob, which has caused many a ripped pocket, bruised arm and barrage of profanities.

Okay sorry people, that is the finale of my diatribe. Do not get the wrong idea and think I am unhappy here; in fact it’s the opposite. If all I have to complain about is the absence of a little sun and an exceptionally annoying doorknob situation, then I say we are good.

On to the best news as of late…

Annette is home and well and everyone is so happy! We have been huddled up in the house in Dalton, reading, eating, watching movies, cooking, eating, trying on Annette’s old huge clothes and cooking, oh, and eating. Did I mention Annette lost 3 stone while in hospital? Well she did, and we are doing our best to remedy that. Rory holds her mouth gently open while I throw handfuls of food at her face.

Not much else is going on so I will leave you with some cheerier photos. I’ll be back in the states mid December, can’t wait to see everyone!

The first photo was taken by Callum the second by Jamie. Unbenounced to them, I submitted both photos for publication under thier names to the Scotsman Newspaper. Fingers crossed!

Friday, November 6, 2009

I'm not grey yet...

Scotland continues to be a self effacing advance towards normalcy. I try very hard not to piss any one person off on a regular basis. So I share my time between Callum's in Holywood, Annette & Rory's in Dalton and Fi's place on Calside Road in order to thwart any potential "we are sick of Tracy lets kick her the fuck out of Scotland" situations.

Fiona has a new job in Glasgow and does not want to sell or officially rent her place out just yet so she was gracious enough to let me have full reign of her house. Thanks Fi!

Annette is still in hospital where she has become the most popular in her ward and won the award for longest hospital stay ever. She continues to heal and we are very hopeful she will be home soon!

When we get bored at hospital I like to play "cover annie in everything then try to find her".

Iain and Jennifer sent Annette a cute Panda which she named 'Toe' so that when she loses her toe she will have him. Gahross. Here is little Toe sleeping in Annette's neighbor's arm sling.

Graham and El visit often and its always hysterically interesting. Last week they were here and Graham attempted a reserection of the air mattress, it was a valiant effort but proved too difficult for one man...

Annie and I got to visit with all of her friends and their millions of babies. Cute as ever, just as my friends children back home, but alas, always leads to the negation of question after question of when Annie and myself will find men and settle down with babies. We remain adament that we will live in a house somewhere when we are 60 with 13 cats. What?! That could be fun!

Jamie has been showing me some beautiful spots in Scotland, he took some of the pictures below, we don't have to mention which ones, but basically, all of them.

You’ll be very proud to hear I am now an official UK Citizen! How the hell they let me in I’ve no idea. The night before my official Passport & Identity Interview; Gayle, Jamie, Annie and Rory tested me on Scottish life with a barrage of historical questions. I now know the story of Robbie Burn’s life, the difference between the flag of Scotland and the ‘Historical’ flag of Scotland, I know where the first bank of Scotland was located, I know how to make haggis 3 different ways and I know how to act surly mean and angry. Too bad I didn’t learn my own UK cell phone # or my parent’s date of marriage cause I sure got those wrong on the test.

I’m now waiting for my National Insurance Interview where I will receive my official insurance # and go immediately to collect the dole. At least that’s what they tell me to do every time I go into the jobcentre, wow Scotland, way to help people find work. Jeez.

Whilst driving to and from hospital with Annie over the last two weeks she often commented on the pasty paleness of the townspeople of Dumfries. Why is everyone so grey and angry?, she would ask.

It has been raining for the past week straight and I can understand the grey and angry but I vow to overcome the pit of despair and keep my head held high (and maybe go to the tanning bed a few times).

Gayle was beside herself when she heard Annie and I would both be in town for the Masquerade Ball. Gayle has been helping plan the event to raise money for cystic fibrosis, for months and months. It was beautiful! All of Annie’s friends made appearances, some she hasn’t seen in quite some time. Everyone looked amazing in their ball gowns and masks and got quite drunk and generally a good time was had by all. Oh wait, expect me. If you notice the lack of Tracy in these pics it’s because Gayle forced me to work the door and the raffle and the auction, I didn’t even get drunk! Damn you indentured servant status!

(Gayle- if you are reading this PLEASE PLEASE don’t be upset, you know I had fun, I can have fun in a ditch with a bottle of vodka and my cell phone. And yes, I have done that).

Annie and Rory found it hysterical that I actually purchased a weave to wear for the ball. Unbeweavable!

Annie left yesterday and it was a sad affair for all. We had a lovely meal at Ahn’s Thai Restaurant the night before and it was just your average celebration, you know tom yum soup, many drinks and a plethora of moustaches.

Enjoy some pics of a night out in Dumfries:

And Phoebe has finally become my best friend, it only took me cuddling her for hours, letting her shed all over my clothes, letting her breathe smelly fish trash breath on me, and me buying her an eyor doll which she promptly chewed to shreds.

Friday, October 9, 2009

Scotland continued...

Annette is continuing her recovery, slowly but surely and we are finally just a bit relieved! She is still in hospital but more answers are coming and she looks and feels better which is what we hoped for, only if it wasn’t such a long process! She has been through so much and has a way to go, continue to keep her in your thoughts.

I would love to tell you all that I have been busy going to pubs and shopping and taking in all the lovely sights, but unfortunately hanging out in a hospital and burning the candle at every end came to an abrupt halt last week when my head, sinuses, and chest decided to turn on me. Auntie Ella has had a cold for weeks; Jamie Clarke and Jamie Dillon have both been ill and now Gayle is coming down with it! Yey for spreading sickness around the world!

A bottle of Benylin, a few gallons of water, and 2 days away from hospital has me feeling better so it’s on with the mission!

Dad arrived Thursday very jet lagged and in the tiniest car imaginable. He could hardly pull is giant legs out of the driver’s seat; it was like a clown car. I made him a trad Scottish breakfast and he promptly passed out. Rory and Dad chilled in Dalton that night while Callum and I took the night shift at hospital. Annette is still tired often but looks amazingly better.

While Dad (and soon Annie) will be staying at Back O’ The Wood, I’ve moved to Gayle and Jamie’s place, and I love my new parents. They left Thursday to visit her sister for the weekend. I had to promise I wouldn’t have any parties or leave the gas on or leave the door unlocked or go through their underwear drawers. (I did all of these things). Jeez, between them and mean old uncle Rory I’m in the right state of 16 years old. Sweet!

Yesterday Dad and I went to Carlisle, England to see Auntie Ethel who is an ever youthful 96 years old. She is so amazing! She knew who we were immediately and cried when we came in. We took her to lunch and she had a beer and the tiny woman ate like a horse. Many hilarious stories later and after much screaming (directly into her left ear by the way and she still barely could hear me) we bade her farewell and returned to Dumfries to see Annette in hospital.

Not much else is going on, enjoy the photos!

Callum and Jamie Dillon took me out 2 Saturday's ago. I had not eaten in a day and was apparently about to get that raging cold which led to me getting way too drunk to function. At 11.30pm I told the boys I should go home, 30 minutes later (because they didnt quite believe me based on past drinking experiences) I completely embarrassed the boys in the bar and the cab on the way home. Dumfries is apparently a very small town and everyone knows everyone. Woops, sorry guys. Blame the drunk American!

This is Annette's car that I have been driving, and everytime I'm at Back O' The Wood Jasper makes it known how much he misses his mum!

Before I moved all my stuff officially to Gayle and Jamie's place, Jasper wanted me to have one last look (and listen) while he crunched on a mouse outside my room. He left me only the gall blatter. Yummy, thanks Jasp.

Yet another animal in Scotland that completely hates me. Hanging out at Callum's so much has apparently given Phoebe here a severe inferiority complex. She officially hates me :(

Gayle was so sad to leave me for the weekend.

Gayle in her gansta pose, werd.

Dad and Ethel...

Ethel waving goodbye from the window of her adorable scottish nursing home. So cute!

Still taking pics of cows, love em!

This one remind you of anyone?

And now for some oldies but goodies... (annoying update- these pics are too small to get what I'm talking about but Jamie Clarke is on the case, sending me larger pdf's soon!)...

Kissing cousins! Sooo cute.

Annie is such a rockstar, yeah. You heard me.

Jamie Clarke and his wee knuckle. Hahahahaaa

I found this weird rock shaped like a finger in Gayle and Jamie's garden. Guess what else we thought it looked like. Jamie's nuckle anyone?

Sunday, September 27, 2009

Back O' The Waugh

I’ve become quite the wee Scottish girl staying here at Back O The Wood!

They even have my beer! yey. (The beer is called Trashy Blonde by the way).

Sick Auntie is still in hospital and receiving some pretty ridiculous health care. The doctors remain baffled; we remain frustrated while the hospital staff maintains a constant state of confusion and disorganization. Yey NHS, you go! I'll have to discuss this with Obama over coffee when I return. We are hopeful though that the week ahead will prove to be better in terms of Annette’s health, comfort and sanity while they try to figure out what the hell is going on.

Cousin Iain visiting Auntie

Meanwhile I have been slaving away at the house, cooking and cleaning for my mean old Uncle. I was joking and telling people that he locks me in the shed at night until someone pointed out that may not be very hilarious in light of recent events in California. Woops, sorry.

I take very long walks nearly everyday which is contributing to my sanity a great deal. The scenery is amazing, the flowers gigantic, and the castles... castely. I also get to hang out with sheep and cows, the #1 and 2 animals on my list of smelliest beasts ever...

Hodom Castle- Dalton

Callum took this amazing pic!

Cleanest sheep in Scotland.

I helped this sheep get her head out of the fence simply by trying to pet her head, she freaked out and jammed her head out with such force that her protective husband sheep behind her started cuddling her. Aww. Also check out his massive set of balls! Wowzah!

Not many visitors at Back O' The Wood, being way out in the beautuful country side of Scotland! But the other night when Rory was at hospital and I was cleaning the door bell rang. A rudy faced farmer around eleventybillion years old came calling. I like to think, from past and continuing experiences here, I am able to identify and comprehend your average and even not so average Scottish dialect. All I heard from this cute little old red faced farmer in the 6 entire minutes we spoke was..."water pressure"..."30 minutes"...and "low". I thanked him and sent him on his merry way. It only occured to me an hour later that I should have stopped the washer from running as it was possibly and probably completely fucking up his entire irrigation system for his herd of highland cows (prounounced "heeeland coooohs"). Sorry Fred?

Honestly though I am getting the best treatment, with the use of Annette's car, 3 different places to stay and tons of friends and family pitching in to make it easy for me here, and especially easy for Annette, its been amazing. She has so many visitors it’s really great. Everyone should call her cell! She does get bored in there, who wouldn’t!

Graham and El have made trips every weekend to see their favorite pal Annette. Graham, the avid conversationalist, was able to brighten Annette by wearing his favorite shirt I got him in New Zealand. Even striking a stripper'esq pose for the camera. Rowr!

Niiiice

I’ve also had the opportunity to catch up with other (as I like to say, not so distant cousins)...cause they are really fun and I love them so why the distance connotation?? We've gone out on the piss (bar hoping for the yanks) and I attended my very first football (soccer) match! Thanks Gayle and Jamie for the ticket!

When I told Jamie Clark about my first hurling match in Ireland and how Johnnie was sayin I was his lucky charm since Clare won their first game in history, he got very excited and told me that if Queen of the South won I would never be allowed to leave the country. The game was amazing, the fans- hilarious, and the kids in front of us too funny for words. Unfortunately they lost...and Jamie locked me out of his and Gayle’s house but that’s neither here nor there, I had fun!

If the player in the next picture strikes you as a little down trodden this is due to the fact that he contributed greatly to doing absolutely fuck all in the game. Queens missed 6 shots all together and this genius was involved in most of those. Gayle and I discussed how he was a big lumbering dolt likening him to Frankenstein which is why I named him 'Franken-nine'. Get it? Yeah I know I'm hilarious.